Donkey Kong:1 - Luigi:0

Luigi's Broad Street Downtown Augusta, Georgia Back in the day, when all of the DK hype had died down, I told Mario not to let his brother go off into the restaurant business. "Stay in the Strawberry Shortcake rescuing trade! It may not have the publicity that it once had, but these trends have a way of coming back even stronger than they were when they first hit the street." Luigi wouldn't listen to me, or Mario. Sad. It seems that Mario's brother must have ended up in the red-light district of Augusta, Georgia. How he got there must be some kind of story. Okay, okay...enough trendy 80's references. Luigi's sucked. From the moment that we parked in front of Fantasy's Showgirls, I just had a feeling that a Taste of America posting was on the menu. No, really...we had to park directly in front of the "gentleman's club"...nice, family setting. From the looks of the strippers going in, remind me to miss "Fantasy's" for my next "guy's night out". Not to worry, the tawdry parade of female flesh was not just limited to parking in front of the nudie bar....no, no...there was more to come. Once inside, I thought I had been dropped into Newark. I think that the words "Tasteful" and "New Jersey" have never (and should never) been uttered in the same breath. Okay, so now they have. The hostess informed us that there was a wait, although there were plenty of large open tables available. We could opt for the "family style" seating, but ONLY when six people had arrived. On that last point, she was...rather insistent. I have no problem with sitting with folks I don't know and having dinner...however, I know that may not be the case with some. We were sat with a prominent member of the Beech Island Agricultural Club and his wife, as well as a couple from Louisville, Georgia who had evidentially found enough within the confines of the CSRA to not ever have to leave - ever. "Never been more than a 100 miles from where I was born," he proudly proclaimed. I think I am beginning to see the root of some of the problems with the CSRA (Central Savannah River Area or "Greater Augusta" - which are also two words which should never be uttered together). The tawdry women? Yep, the strippers all eat at Luigi's before their shift. Well, let's be fair, the over-makeuped, big-haired, trampy-dressed girls sitting at the table next to us MAY not have been strippers...but the way girls dress these days, who can tell? If you are wondering why I have not mentioned the food yet, it is primarily because the food was so unmemorable. According to Diane, "I have opened a can of Ragu that had more flavor." I couldn't agree more. I had the Fetticini Alfredo. For those who are "culinary challenged", Alfredo sauce is heavy whipping cream, parmesan cheese and garlic - that's about it. The white stuff on my pasta, by my estimation, had to be reduced whipping cream. I am sure that they MEANT to put parmesan and garlic in there...because then it would actually be Alfredo sauce. Don't ask me about the $2.00 garlic bread. It just makes me angry....and you wouldn't like me when I am angry. Okay, okay...I am done with the cheesy pop-culture references...perhaps Luigi could use some of this cheese in his Alfredo sauce....then at least it there would be SOME reason to take notice.