Red Dye #2

I thought that those "hot links" you got as a kid that sported that totally unnatural shade of red were...to say the least, illegal to serve. I distinctly remember something from the 70's about Red Dye #2 and cancer...of course, maybe I was wrong... Coming back to Georgia (and more generally, the South) for the first time in over 20 years has led to a rather rude awakening. The Southern Food that I had promised my wife she would savor at every mealtime has vanished without a trace! Waffle House, McDonald's, Huddle House and Wretched Buffets of Warmed Over Sam's Club Food have become the norm. Gone are the days of gracious hostesses and charming chefs. The only holdover I can find is the incessant need to wrap silverware in paper or plastic sleeves (keeps the flies off). Flies, it seems, have no care whether the food is good or not...and neither do the patrons. Quantity rules supreme over quality. Back to the Red Meat Dogs: We often find ourselves in Louisville, GA (18 miles south of our house - which is in the geographic center of The Culinary Wasteland) sometime approaching normal mealtime. Broad Street Bistro, which "quietly opened" on Labor Day Weekend in downtown Louisville was the lunch (or dinner as they say here in Georgia) option we exercised today. According to the locals, Pansy's is the barometer against which all other establishments are measured. I guess that's true, but except for one "near miss", Diane and I have never been able to find it open (more about that one later). Today was no exception, Pansy's, with their WTF attitude of "closed on Saturdays", forced us down the street to the new (and I use this term ever so loosely) "Bistro". At first glance however, the "Bistro" held a moderate amount of promise...oh, what was that saying about appearances being deceiving? The restaurant space was fantastic, even (and especially) by "Big City" standards! Evidently, this must have been a turn-of-the-century store of some kind. The hardwood floors were refinished to a better than new sheen, the walls were exposed original raw brick....if the Wal-Mart purchased, 50's kitsch items hung on the wall hadn't been there, it would have had a stunning ambiance! I could have done with a little fewer freshly minted "antiques", such as the hard plastic, malt-shop tables. Okay, okay...so I am getting to the red meat dogs! Like I said, it was promising - by Georgia standards. The lady behind the counter was nice enough. She did let us know about the "Bistro Burger" which must have been made of something other than hamburger, because by her own admission it "just tastes different". Ooookay then....I opted for the Slaw Dog, mustard only - times two. I must admit that even I had a mental lapse at that very moment. How I can confuse slaw with kraut, I have no idea...and yet I did. Of course it must have been the mental vortex affecting both Diane and I evenly, because she made the same mistake...one only, with a "Soup of the Day" on the side. According to the counter lady, the soup was a wonderful tomato soup which was much better than the other option of potato soup. One thing I can say that I learned from this "Bistro" experience: look behind the counter BEFORE you order, not after! I am sure that if Diane had seen the look on my face when I saw the red hots rolling on the warmer, she would have called the paramedics...I think it is the look I would have if I ever had a stroke. These folks spent a lot of money making sure that the Broad Street Bistro was going to appeal to the demographic they wanted. The ambiance will wow and amaze so many of the patrons...I know that these ladies will get a kick out of so many people complimenting them....The patrons should hope that the pleasantly appointed bathrooms will be vacant when the meal comes. Red Dye #2 Meat Dogs, covered with Sam's Club Bucket O'Slaw, on a cold bun. The wonderful tomato soup, complete with some form of meat that Diane could not positively identify, had the distinct flavor of Campbell's Soup with a hint of dishwater. Finally, the one thing that I just positively cannot explain: a pickle spear...cut in half. These ladies spent thousands of dollars to make sure that the "Bistro" looked fabulous....and scrimped on a pickle to save $0.02. It also saved me from visiting the Broad Street Bistro again....who knows, someday, maybe Pansy's will actually be open....