Seattle's Best...

Pronto Pizza Seattle, WA Delivery www.prontopizzeria.com Dude, order us some pizza... When those words are uttered in Seattle, only one thing can come next... log on to Pronto Pizza... these guys are not your average Domino's. Personally, I opt for The Mafia and add garlic. You will know when your pizza is coming by the fact that all of your vampire friends will pretty much exit the building in a hurry! This many stoners in one town, and you know there is the one "killer pizza place".... Dude... Pronto Pizza is good... Pizza is good... Dude....

Save The Best For Last

Pagliacci's 1011 Broad St. Victoria, BC V8W2A1 Link Why is it that on the last day we are in Victoria, we find the best places to eat? With all of the surly waitstaff in Canada to choose from, Pagliacci's managed to find good, friendly and attentive folks... who knew that you could?!? Okay, so the place is not for the claustrophobic. I am not sure if there is any way that you could cram more another table... anywhere! The salads were tolerable (the Maple Balsamic Vinaigrette left me with the odd sticky feeling you find after eating at IHOP) - but I reminded myself that this is Canada and they don't actually know what a good looking head of lettuce looks like, so they got a pass. Go to Pagliacci's. Forget the ambiance and forget the salad... eat the pasta. In fact, the biggest problem that Diane and I had was choosing which one of the dishes we were going to have (having limited ourselves to only one!). Personally, I had the Hemingway Short Story - a beef filed tortellini with pancetta in a light cream sauce... all I can say is, "Damn, that is some good pasta!" Seriously, it was that good. Diane had the Little Caesar. If you are looking for a "low garlic" Italian offering, this is not the dish for you. Good vegetables, al dente pasta... although you might want to try the half order unless you are planning on taking some home. The menu is a read unto itself Babette's Feast, Somerset Praughn... the entry for Diane's dish was: Little Caesar Shrimp florentine; mushrooms, pine nuts, spinach, green onions, cream and fontina cheese on fettucine. "Mother of God, is this the end of pasta?" - and then there is the Mae West - Mae West (Finally- a "veal" woman) Veal medallions with artichoke hearts, in lemon, white wine and tarragon. "I been things, and done places. Beulah, peel me a grape." Need I say more? Yes, Virginia, there is hope. Eat at Pagliacci's or be damned to all the eternal fires of Victorian dining hell.

Smoke Doesn't Always Mean Fire

After dining at Smokey’s Texas BBQ, 172 Lackawanna Drive, Byram, New Jersey, there is one question burning in our minds.... has Smokey ever actually BEEN to Texas? We’re thinking probably not. The first clue was the saguaro cactus in all of the murals on the acid yellow walls. Maybe they meant Arizona BBQ?? The second clue was the powdered iced tea (at $2.75 A GLASS); they shoot you in Texas for serving powdered ice tea and in any REAL BBQ restaurant tea refills are free. Third clue…. Smokey’s serves mostly PORK BBQ… WHAT?? Texas… home of BIG CATTLE RANCHES… Not pig farms. Texas barbeque is BEEF! As for the details…the pork bbq ribs were tasty but not exceptional. The brisket sandwich was good – particularly the bun, which held up to the extra sauce. Speaking of sauce… when asked for some more the waitress looked quizzically and asked “barbeque sauce”?? Um no honey, we were really thinking we’d like some hollandaise with that… Ah huh… The sweet potato side was very good but the coleslaw and potato salad were totally flavorless. The service was in keeping with the rest of it… hit or miss and definitely not Texas style. Maybe Smokey will make it to a real Texas BBQ place some day – we can recommend a few, but until then the only thing Texan about Smokey’s is the name on the door.

Band of Banderas

It is nice to be back in the world of good food, good service and an ambience that adds to the dining experience... Bandera 3821 N Scottsdale Rd. Scottsdale, AZ 85251 Only one word comes to mind when I think of Bandera: excellent. Although we had a bit of a time parking in Old Scottsdale, and there was a few minutes wait, the experience was worth it. In fact, the biggest problem with the waiting time was the fantastic smell, which made 5 minutes seem like an eternity. Talk about your Pavlovian Response.... Rachel, our server, promptly greeted us - such a little thing, but something that is a rarity these days. In fact, as I sat there watching the staff, I realized that they had another quality that you just don't find in many restaurants - teamwork. It was amazing to see how well the servers worked together to make all of their jobs more efficient. Let me take a moment to mention one of my pet peeves, the empty glass. I can make quite a few "allowances", if only my glass is full through the whole meal. The Bandera crew was AMAZING in this area. All of the staff teamed together - a server who had the section next to ours brought me an iced tea... none of the "its not my table" attitude. I was floored. I was never without a half full glass. This is one of the greatest accomplishments I have seen in the food service industry in quite a few years. Even if the food was less-than-stellar, which it wasn't, I would come back.... and THAT is saying something. Our "Dip Duo" appetizer featured a wonderful Chipoltle Pimento sauce - highly recommended. Diane had the lamb sandwich, which was cooked to perfection. I went with a slightly less carnivorous selection... One warning here: vegetarians need not apply. Bandera is all about meat. Diane's cole slaw, with its peanut oil seasoning, was worth the price of admission and the sweet croutons in my salad were notable - something you rarely say about a piece of stale bread! Sadly, we were too full for desert... Professional staff, nice decor, FANTASTIC service, melt-in-your-mouth-good food and the smell... oh, the smell.... enough to convert a patchouli wearing vegan into a carnivore.... Bandera gets a 9.5. We will be back.

On The Road Again

One year, one month and four days later, I return to the scene of the crime. Diane and I have been busy moving back to Arizona, remodeling the house and - as usual - finding the good, the bad and the very, very ugly.... as far as food goes, that is. Our adventures have taken us South of the Border to La Reforma in Agua Prieta, Sonora... to Phoenix's Biltmore for Sam's Cafe... Marathon, Texas gave us Valentine's dinner at the Gage Hotel's Cafe Cenizo... To Sunland Park, New Mexico for the State Line BBQ.... Corrales, New Mexico for the Village Pizza... the Rocking V in Kanab, Utah... and even local Bisbee attractions such as Cafe Roka, Santiago's and the High Desert Market. For the bad side (you know there has to be one), there was some random Mongolian BBQ place in Tucson that was not even good enough to remember the name... and we didn't have to go far for the very, very, very ugly - Bisbee's own Banditos and Lawmen. We are starting out on the "Big Adventure" of 100% travel. So, stay tuned... we are back... and better than ever....

Comedy of Errors

Tony's Seafood 597 Second Street Cedar Key, Florida 32625 First off, Cedar Key, Florida (as noted on the city limits sign) is the #1 producer of farm raised clams in the United States. This may be true, but dinner on Sunday night at Tony's Seafood on Second Street was not evidence of that fact. How exactly does a seafood restaurant who regards itself as the only restaurant in town that uses exclusively local seafood - and charges a premium for that fact - run out of clams by 7:00 PM? How does this same local seafood bastion run out of oysters at the same time? How does this same restaurant take an hour to turn out a burger (ordered well and delivered to the table rare) and a bowl of clam chowder (good but pre made - just heat it up)? How, you may ask, do all of these come to pass in one restaurant? The answer: No Tony, just his stoned brother Eric. Tony may be a whiz in the kitchen, but Eric just stares at the grill trying to figure out what to do next. Tony may be a great host, Eric yells at the nicely dressed woman who came into the kitchen to see why her order was taking hours to prepare. Tony may have earned a reputation that demands that folks call ahead for reservations, Eric allows 9 of 10 tables to be without food for over an hour. Let me be honest, I hope for Eric's sake that he was stoned. If he were that slow and dim witted - and stone cold sober - he has real worries about being in the restaurant business. I am not sure what my favorite dining moment was at Tony's.... from our ring-side seats at the door to the kitchen, we got to see it all in living color! Hmmm... was it Eric staring at the grill and demanding that the waitresses stop bringing him tickets... was it the scene where Eric and his prep chef looked into the freezer, hoping that some frozen miracle would just pop out... was it the waitress suggesting the "Cab-roh-nay Savanne".... If Diane or I had actually ordered one of the $25 entrees, and the service was... well... as it was... I would have given Eric a little Scarface introduction to my "little friend".... Holy shit. The only thing I have ever seen that could compare - other than Nancy Paranha cussing me out - was the lady at Cedar Key's other high end destination, the Blue Desert Cafe... where every meal (and I shit you not) is prepared serially... that is to say that person A gets their order cooked to perfection.... and the the chef STARTS on the next meal.... the end result is that no one gets to eat together... ever. Who are these people? More importantly, how in the hell do they not only stay in business... but have a waiting list for reservations....

Friday the 13th

David & I decided a little dining excursion was just what we needed to shake the gloom off our rainy Georgia Friday so we headed up to Aiken for Stromboli at Ferando's. They were packed and though our food only warranted a "good" rather than it's usual "really good" we think it was probably due to the deluge of customers who like us came in out of the rain. Also I thing that Pizza really is their strong suit. Service gets an A+ for effort tonight... our young waiter (who had a certain Sean Astin look about him) was personable and attentive even though he looked so overwhelmed we feared his head might actually pop off. The rain let up and we went in search of further adventures..... and ended up at The White Elephant for coffee and dessert. Downtown Augusta just doesn't seem to be very lively at night and there were only a few people in the restaurant. We sat at the bar and had a nice chat with Jai the owner. She'd been stood up by a reservation for 20 but in spite of her dissapointment she was still very good company. I had the bananas foster which is a unique take on the classic in a torte form. It was exceptional and I will absolutely order it again! As we suspected with our previous mention of the coffee we just didn't catch it at the right time the first go-round but this time it was fresh, hot and excellent. We asked for a small taste of the Garlic Dressing that we love so much - I swear I could drink the stuff! I'm trying to make my own version which I thought was pretty good but after tasting the real thing again I am not even in the same league (back to the drawing board)! The combo of stromboli, bananas foster and garlic was pretty bizarre and we decided to make it even more eclectic by tasting some of Jai's Mom's hot sauce - it was hot, sweet and yummy stuff! So much so that we bought a jar to take home - autographed by the Lady herself! Maybe it'll inspire me on some of the 4 lbs of turkey breast I still need to find a recipe for.....

On The Road Again

Creole Red New Orleans "Style" Restaurant 409 West Congress Street Savannah, Georgia "Historic Savannah's ONLY New Orleans Style Restaurant" for good reason. Why could Katrina not have take a slightly eastern course and washed away Creole Red's? I would personally push the plunger that set off the explosives to bring a levy full of water down on Creole Red's. FEMA should be notified as this is definitely a hazard to national security. Are you getting the picture that I didn't like Creole Red's? Well, actually, I sort of liked Creole Red's - my colon however had other opinions. And it is not by accident that I used the plural on "opinions" - Creole Red's was a repeat offender. The first clue should have come when we sat down (all alone in the entire restaurant) and saw that the "New Orleans Style" included Texas Pete hot sauce. Ummm.... For one, Texas Pete hot sauce is from North Carolina - not really New Orleans or even Texas for that matter. How about Crystal or even Tabasco? With no one else in the restaurant, it was amazing that it took almost 45 minutes (I know because we watched the entire Savannah TV news while waiting) for our food to arrive. I ordered a very standard Crawfish Etoufee, while Diane had the gumbo. I guess Diane didn't realize that she had ordered the "bone in" gumbo - Fish bones... we can only hope. Perhaps the Creole Red folks were trying some voodoo thing with the chicken bones, it was hard to tell. For what it was worth, my etoufee was not... well... bad. Good would not be a word I would describe it with either. How about, "It didn't outright suck". Yep, that just about sums it up. Even someone in Fodor's got the repeat offender status from eating at Red's! The ambiance was... notable - and not in a good way. The blaring televisions were only trumped by the extremely wasted woman who came in with her "old man". They went to the back for a while... to do... who knows. Two younger guys came in and sat down across the restaurant from us. They seemed nice - in an upscale drug dealer kind of way. The wasted woman came out from the back and started talking to the two young guys. In order to get her to leave them alone, they passed her some - "go away" token. Sadly for the young drug dealers, it did not work. She felt obligated to sit and chat with them in exchange for their "kindness" - even reluctantly dragging her "old man" over to thank them. Diane and I had choked our meals down so I planned a quick get away in order to avoid the gun play that I thought was about to happen. Mercifully for the drug dealer guys - and the two of us as well - the lady left to go enjoy her token. I don't think that we'll be going back.

The Best of Augusta For Real!

Really! No kidding – the best meal we’ve had in Augusta! On Friday David and I made our way downtown to the White Elephant Café on Broad Street. Charson our favorite sushi chef from Matsu Sige had recommended it and knowing that he was also the chef at the Café we had really high hopes for a good meal. For once we were NOT disappointed! The White Elephant has all of the things we look for in a dining experience and at a great price too! The service was right on the money. Our waitress Nicole had an engagingly quick wit and was equally speedy on the delivery of food and beverages. No lollygagging going on at the Elephant! We were also greeted by Jai the owner, and Charson and I was reminded that it is the personal touch that makes the real difference in how a restaurant is run. I noted that other customers were greeted warmly as well and it made no difference if they were old friends or newcomers. All were made to feel welcome. The décor and ambiance is tasteful with a hint of humor and clean scrubbed to a shine just like we like it! The ladies room had some eyelevel framed wisdom to impart…Flush your troubles away…Words to live by! I’m mentioning the food down the bottom again as I often do but in this case because it’s nice to save the best for last. The food was excellent! The starter of sweet potato fries had an incredibly good chipotle dipping sauce. The salads were slathered with a rich, garlic loaded potion that I could slurp by the vat. I had the Peach Filet en Croute – rare – and it was actually perfectly cooked! It was seared on the outside and juicy red on the inside, tender and flavorful topped with a not to sweet peach glaze and sliced peaches. David had the meatballs with couscous – savory meatballs on a bed of fluffy couscous with a fruity-spicy chutney on the side. Both meals vanished without a trace in record time! The only minor nick was the coffee that was not quite on par with the rest of the feast but next time we’ll try the espresso which I suspect will be excellent. Unfortunately the ample portions left us too full for dessert so we’ll have to save that for our next trip….and there will be a next trip very soon I assure you! I’m giving The White Elephant a 9.5…the Best of Augusta on our list and a restaurant that would stand up favorably to good food anywhere!

Ironically Good

While David and Diane continue to explore the Southeastern culinary treasures, I manage to stop in on an oldy but a goody here in Texas. One of my goals this winter is to visit some great places that I haven’t been to for a while…and make sure they’re still great. This last weekend I managed to get by a favorite burger place in Waco, Tx. “The Health Camp” has been in business since 1949. “Burgers, Health?” you might ask. Well, there’s my irony. The Health Camp is a dive with greasy diner style burgers. I guess that back in 1949 that was considered healthy. Healthy or not, delicious they are. The burgers are classic diner style…greasy (not too much so) with a good flavor. Made fresh to order. “Mayo or Mustard…all the way?” is what they ask you when you place your order. The shakes and malts are a must have…made fresh from scratch. A cheeseburger will run you about $2.50 and a shake about $1.50. Back in the 80s they were written up in the Washington Post and The Dallas Morning News as one of the great burger places in America. Some friends have told me they think it is not as good as it used to be. I’m not sure whether we are just older or that is actually the case. I can tell you that the burger I had on Sunday was delic-ariffic. It’s nothing fancy, but I think it is excellent. When you stop in, you will see the old newspaper writeups on the wall, along with some old pictures of Waco. There a few aerials of the “circle” where the restaurant is located that look like they were taken from a crop duster with a brownie. The booths are old but clean. And there is a jukebox. The current model is a modern CD based one. It’s less nostalgic, but has a better selection. If there are a bunch of locals in the restaurant I usually select some Metallica on the jukebox right before I walk out the door. Where is this place? Exit Valley Mills off I-35 in Waco. It’s on “The Circle”. I imagine that this traffic circle was an important and busy place back in “the day”. It’s not much these days, but seems to be making a comeback with more restaurants building up nearby. Have you ever been in a traffic circle? Imagine 4+ roads coming together. Instead of a stop sign or light, all of the roads dead end into this circle. You then drive around the circle until you get to the road you want to be on. It’s a very silly concept that you don’t see built anymore. This one is true genius; it’s a 2 lane traffic circle! BTW, don’t get in the inner lane if you plan on getting out of the circle. As you enter the circle, you will see a nice (and recently refurbished) place called the Elite Diner and next to it a completely un-refurbished Health Camp. It’s a square, squatty, ramshackle little building that looks like it has had little maintenance since it was built in 1949. Old, ramshackle and the perfect ambiance for an old style burger. As we drove off, all we could say was “Mmmmmmmmmmmm.” I give it an 8.5 on the old Heave O' Meter.

Luigi's Rerun

While David has already written his thoughts about Luigi’s I feel compelled to add mine as well. Luigi’s got a rating of 2 from us on the Heave O' Meter…and it is one of those places that just made me mad! It has all the potential for a great hole in the wall Italian joint….seedy downtown location, dusky lit Mafioso style interior, blatantly Italian hostess… when we walked in I thought…Great! Some real Italiano in Augusta! When the hostess informed us that we’ll be seated family style with some other folks (but ONLY after she could fill the table of six) I thought GREAT! This means they get really crowded, it must be REALLY good and when we were seated with 2 couples from the area I thought now THIS should be fun! Ahhh huh…well…..sort of. Unfortunately Luigi’s only looks like a Mom & Pop Italian restaurant. What it tastes like is…well…let’s just say oatmeal comes to mind. And after speaking with our dining companions for a few moments it became evident that oatmeal-bland food and lifestyle is exactly what they enjoy. The one couple kept going on about the fact that they’d never really been outside the area (and seemed strangely proud of that fact). The other couple, where only the man was allowed to speak it seems, started off by saying you could order any of the spaghetti dishes in the half-order and it was MUCH cheaper…then went on about how the food at one place was cheap, and the food at another place was really cheap and then topped it off by saying that he thought the best coffee was to be had at Waffle Hut? HUH? Oh dear here we go again….. I ordered a glass of Chianti (which drew censorial glances from the far end of the table) and figured it was going to be another blog-worthy meal. Unfortunately I was right…..! The people watching proved to be the only vaguely spicy portion of our meal. We tried to decide if the sleazy looking girls were pros or just had stock in Mary Kay and Aqua-net. I haven’t seen such architecturally designed hair since Loretta Lynne in the 70’s! Since the strip joint is next door we decided they were probably in for a carb-boosting feast before a hard night of the bump and grind. Back at our table things were going a bit down hill. The couple across from us were pleasant if but much like the food yet to come, unseasoned and really pretty boring. The speaking portion of the couple on the end of the table is a proud member of something called the Beech Island Agricultural Club. He clumsily maneuvered this fact into the conversation by saying that David looked familiar and hadn’t he given an address to the club recently? It seems it’s a ‘gentleman’s club’ where women are only allowed to attend once a year. He gave my Dad a wink and a nudge as he described the group’s activities and libations. He also felt the need to ask if Dad “paahked the caaah in Haaaavrd Yaaaahd’ in a bizarre blend of Kennedyspeak and redneck drawl. As our salads arrived he hijacked the table to say an elaborate grace and I started to contemplate duct tape therapy. But luckily once he dug in he ate with all the enthusiasm that his bulk implied and we were spared further conversation. Oh yes the food… it’s down here at the bottom of this little tale because it was as David put it so “unmemorable”. The salads…$4 a pop, iceburg lettuce, a sprinkle of generic feta cheese, 2 pallid slices of tomato and 1 tiny kalamata olive…not exactly bountiful or flavorful either with it’s coating of fresh from the bottle dressing. I ordered eggplant parmagania, one of my standard favorites. This is not a tough dish to perfect but yet Luigi’s made it tough….literally! The overfried eggplant slabs were so chewy I had to cut them with a knife, no nice mozzarella cheese was in evidence…and the sauce tasted like it was right out of the Delmonte can…..no spices, no garlic…just ground up tomato. David went with the Fettuccine Alfredo…again a relatively simple dish. Luigi’s wanted it so simple they decided to leave out all those pesky things like garlic and cheese…wouldn’t want any flavor getting in the way now would we? Dad had the only reasonably tasty fare with his plate of Moussaka. Though he said it was far from the best he’d ever had he gave it a ‘not bad’… He too has found that to be the standard praise for food in this area. In keeping with the theme of bland is best Luigi’s served up plain white bread (because crusty bread is somehow sinful we’ve decided) with whipped non-cow “buttery” spread on the side. This is a HUGE pet-peeve of mine as I’ve mentioned in previous ramblings but it really ticks me off when it’s served with an $11 entrée! When the meal wrapped up the waitress inquired about coffee. The Waffle Hut aficionado chimed in that it was “Really good!” Ah gee, no thanks I think I’ll pass….on the coffee…..and on Luigi’s.

Donkey Kong:1 - Luigi:0

Luigi's Broad Street Downtown Augusta, Georgia Back in the day, when all of the DK hype had died down, I told Mario not to let his brother go off into the restaurant business. "Stay in the Strawberry Shortcake rescuing trade! It may not have the publicity that it once had, but these trends have a way of coming back even stronger than they were when they first hit the street." Luigi wouldn't listen to me, or Mario. Sad. It seems that Mario's brother must have ended up in the red-light district of Augusta, Georgia. How he got there must be some kind of story. Okay, okay...enough trendy 80's references. Luigi's sucked. From the moment that we parked in front of Fantasy's Showgirls, I just had a feeling that a Taste of America posting was on the menu. No, really...we had to park directly in front of the "gentleman's club"...nice, family setting. From the looks of the strippers going in, remind me to miss "Fantasy's" for my next "guy's night out". Not to worry, the tawdry parade of female flesh was not just limited to parking in front of the nudie bar....no, no...there was more to come. Once inside, I thought I had been dropped into Newark. I think that the words "Tasteful" and "New Jersey" have never (and should never) been uttered in the same breath. Okay, so now they have. The hostess informed us that there was a wait, although there were plenty of large open tables available. We could opt for the "family style" seating, but ONLY when six people had arrived. On that last point, she was...rather insistent. I have no problem with sitting with folks I don't know and having dinner...however, I know that may not be the case with some. We were sat with a prominent member of the Beech Island Agricultural Club and his wife, as well as a couple from Louisville, Georgia who had evidentially found enough within the confines of the CSRA to not ever have to leave - ever. "Never been more than a 100 miles from where I was born," he proudly proclaimed. I think I am beginning to see the root of some of the problems with the CSRA (Central Savannah River Area or "Greater Augusta" - which are also two words which should never be uttered together). The tawdry women? Yep, the strippers all eat at Luigi's before their shift. Well, let's be fair, the over-makeuped, big-haired, trampy-dressed girls sitting at the table next to us MAY not have been strippers...but the way girls dress these days, who can tell? If you are wondering why I have not mentioned the food yet, it is primarily because the food was so unmemorable. According to Diane, "I have opened a can of Ragu that had more flavor." I couldn't agree more. I had the Fetticini Alfredo. For those who are "culinary challenged", Alfredo sauce is heavy whipping cream, parmesan cheese and garlic - that's about it. The white stuff on my pasta, by my estimation, had to be reduced whipping cream. I am sure that they MEANT to put parmesan and garlic in there...because then it would actually be Alfredo sauce. Don't ask me about the $2.00 garlic bread. It just makes me angry....and you wouldn't like me when I am angry. Okay, okay...I am done with the cheesy pop-culture references...perhaps Luigi could use some of this cheese in his Alfredo sauce....then at least it there would be SOME reason to take notice.

Our other "10"...

Today we went with Dad to Watchmaker’s at the Fitzpatrick Hotel in Washington Georgia. It really has become one of our favorites. Their Sunday brunch is just excellent. I’ll have to admit it’s not the most opulent brunch buffet I’ve ever visited but everything they do they do very well. The decor of the restored hotel is lovely with brightly polished wood floors and paneling complementing mellow gold walls covered in tastefully framed watch memorabilia. It's not stuffy or pretentious, just quietly elegant. We arrived ahead of the after-church mob and the place was virtually empty. We were greeted by the hostess with a smile and a “well you’ve been here before so I sure don’t have to tell you what to do”! She’s right, this is our sixth return trip to Watchmaker’s and for good reason… they have great food. This visit was no exception with the highlights being a succulent traveler’s roast pork, superb squash casserole, crispy fried chicken, their specially stone ground grits with creamy shrimp sauce and so many other treats to numerous to list…. The service is always good, but today it was even better than usual. We just had to raise an eyebrow and someone was there to refill coffee or cheerfully fill a request and as the platters on the buffet emptied they were instantly refilled. Dad commented that it was almost like they were reading our minds. All of that would be saying something when they were in the almost empty phase but the fact that the superb service continued even after the place filled to capacity is a testament to how well this staff has been trained. The chef was there to oversee the whole affaire and came by to ask how we enjoyed our meal. It was nice to be able to tell him that it was excellent and mean it whole heartedly. We shall of course return………!

East Texas Burger Co (Mineola, Texas) A++

East Texas Burger Co (Mineola, Texas) This is one of those small town, hole in the wall kind of joints that you absolutely should stop at if you are hungry at all. Great Burgers, fries and pies, with nice atmosphere. Mineola is about an hour and a half East of Dallas on US 80. I was visiting family during the week of Thanksgiving, and stopped in for the first time in years. As we pulled up, we realized 2 things of immediate concern. First, the restaurant was packed and we wondered if we could find a table. Second, we realized that we had the dog in the back seat of the truck. After ducking inside briefly and discussing the issues, we decided to order to go and have a little picnic. This was both good and bad. Bad, because the quaint, disheveled décor really provides that sort of greasy spoon ambience. We managed to soak in some of the ambience and some of the grease as we waited on our order (taking turns with the dog outside on a leash). Both the bric-a-brac and the clientele were certainly eclectic, ranging from locals, to tourists to random bikers passing through. Everyone seemed to be happy to be there. The service was friendly, with smiling employees asking everyone if there was anything else they needed. Considering how busy they were, the 10-15 minutes we waited on our order was not bad at all. The Good was that it was an extremely nice day outside (sunny and 78), and there is a nice little Gazebo around the corner near the railroad museum (if you can call it that). We got to watch a couple of trains come by as a bonus. Now on to the main course, so to speak…Scrumptious down home burgers, in your choice of ¼ or ½ pound sizes. I’m not sure what they put in the burgers, but they have a unique flavor…savory yet different. My family was very impressed with how good these burgers were. The dog was begging like she never had before…I guess she could smell that there was something special about these burgers. The curly fries were excellent too…sort of a succulent greasy potato feast in your mouth…mmmmmmmm! By the time we finished the burgers and fries, we were just too full to try the pies. I hear they are really good. So, now I have to go back with a bigger appetite. So, let's call this one a successful culinary journey...good home made food...and nothing from Sam's Club on the menu!

A New Voice, A New Perspective

In the interest of expanding our horizons, I welcome my friend Drew to the ranks of The Taste of America. In reality, it has only been the taste of wherever Diane and I have visited...with Drew, it adds the dimension of North Texas and....well....wherever else he roams.

Finally, a 10!

Gorizia Worthington Springs, Florida I am having trouble believing it myself. Driving to Cedar Key, Florida on Thanksgiving Day, Diane and I thought we were going to be relegated to eating at - of all decrepit places - McDonald's. It seemed that Mickey D's was the only place cruel enough to have their employees working schelpping McFood, rather than eating turkey and dressing with the family. Our route took us down US Highway 1 to Folkston, Georgia (gateway to the Okefenokee) and from there GA 121 to the Florida state line and FL 121 down to Gainesville. As we crossed Interstate 10, Diane made some rumbling about stopping at the next open McDonald's - out of sheer desperation. I think that her hunger had somehow weakened her mind. The hunger had maddened me as well - I was going to stop. That all ended when we rolled into Worthington Springs, Florida. I am pleased to announce that Gorizia: real Italian Restaurant has received a 10. Let me say that one more time... Gorizia: real Italian Restaurant gets a 10! Stop me, I must be dreaming! We were at once impressed with the eclectic Florida tiki bar motif - not exactly what you would call rural Tuscan....but, then again.... who cares?!?! "No Preachin' No Politikin' No Whinin'" are the rules of the house...good with Diane and I, we are sick of all of the above. It looked like it was someone's house - and I suspect that it may be. Open on Thanksgiving? "Sure...why not...come on over to our house for dinner" was the attitude we found. We ordered - at the owner's recommendation - the lasagne special for $22 for two. At first I thought that seemed a bit high. Of course, that was until I got the first course: a plate o' salad with handmade balsamic vinaigrette and feta cheese. This was a mound of salad! Then came the rolls. Let's just put it this way, there were no vampires stalking us for a day or so after eating this mound of bread. These are the kind of garlic rolls that just ooze butter and garlic down your hand. You have to use a napkin just to eat the bread - that is my kind of roll! By the time the lasagne got there, I was ready for the finale. The entree did not disappoint! A big ol' plate of lasagne that the lady hand cut and personally served to Diane and I.... this was too much to hope for! A place with good food, prompt service AND nice people! I cannot recommend Gorizia any stronger! John will make you a good Italian meal and then sit down and talk about...stuff... with you. According to their web site: "Don't see it on the menu? Just request it! If we have the ingredients...we'll make it." I fully believe that to be true. This is one good place...sorry to keep repeating myself... Toto, we are not in Georgia any more.

The bare necessities

Which aren't all that simple it seems.... David and I were reading some of the posts herein and found that we have been a bit on the negative side. This is not without reason. From our perspective, we are looking for a few simple things from our dining experience: nice people, good atmosphere, quality food and prompt service. At this point, price is not a real consideration. The bare minimum.... 1. For the love of God would you people get over your fear of COWS!! Powdered soybeans and miscellaneous chemicals are NOT cream....and when you add oil to it, it's still NOT cheese, and if it won't melt it's NOT butter. Never has been, never will be...! 2. A smile would be nice... pleasant would be even better. Yes we know you hate your job, and we really don't care! Smile dammit! No really, just look like you don't hate us on sight...that's a start. 3. Fill 'er up! Yes...we do drink more water than someone lost for days in the wilds of the Arizona desert...So??? Keep it comin' ! 4. Cleanliness is next to Godliness... and with all the preaching around here you'd think they'd get THAT one right. Fluffy toilet seat covers are great when it's only your bum that's using it but in a public restroom...EEEwwww! And another thing... ever look closely at all the decor crap hanging from the ceiling (fake flowers, clowns, etc) if you just HAVE to have them could you at least scrape the layer of grease and hair off them every now & again? 5. Food that is made at least in part from scratch? Yeah that's right give the microwave a rest and make something that wasn't dumped right out of the bag from Sam's Club. So what do we require, really? Friendly, competant service (with the accent on the friendly)...real food...clean surroundings. That's all!

Badge Of Shame

Sunday started off with another round of "the Quest". Surely today we would find something tolerable to eat in Augusta. Considering that the "Best of Augusta" moniker was laid upon the Mellow Mushroom as the "Best New Restaurant"...I am not putting too much stock in the "Best Of..." Not that there is anything wrong with the Mellow Mushroom - but it is a chain. If a chain is the "Best Of..." anything, then we are sorely lacking. Bottom line: Augusta is sorely lacking. Augusta Magazine's "Best Of Augusta" seems to be awarded to...pretty much everyone. I almost expected to see "Best Guy Named Larry" (I am sure it was there, if had only looked hard enough) Rhinehart's was one of our stops today. After a fairly decent pizza at The Pizza Joint on Broad Street, we went in search of coffee and desert. Surely one of the "Best of Augusta" would have a slice of Key Lime and some Java. This was not to be.... Scooter (no, I am not kidding, that was the kid's name) informed us that, "We don't got coffee." I guess sobering up drunks really doesn't rate high on Rhinehart's "to-do" list. We didn't stay. Instead, we drove on up Washington Road to R. Gabriel's Coffee Shop. Finally, a place where the girl (who had a certain Bridget Fonda thing going) behind the counter was nice....the coffee was good....and the cake was decent. Oddly, R. Gabriel's Coffee Shop did not rate in the "Best Of..." that we could find. This is a good sign! We will be back...and THAT is the highest praise I can give any restaurant in Augusta...so far.

Scales Of Justice (The Heave-O-Meter)

Diane and I were trying to compare the horrific experience at Calvin's to some of our other stomach wrenching dining in the South and realized that we needed some sort of scale with which to rate such things. Mind you, this is subjective on my part, so Diane may tend to disagree - although not by much. This scale is admittedly slanted toward the lower end. I would not have to do this if the food in this area would not cause my lower end to slant. So, here is my first stab at a Heave-O-Meter: 1. Stomach Pump - a danger to the public health. The kind of dining which offers such delights as stomach cramps, late-night visits to the Kaopectate lounge and a round trip ticket for the meal d'jour. Examples: Amanda's in Aiken, The Villa South in Sandersville 2. Go To Your Room! - the place that restaurant owners should be ashamed of. These are especially bad because they have potential....which is wasted. Examples: Hot Food by Calvin in Augusta, Blue Desert Cafe in Cedar Key 3. Happy Place - not because they are a happy place, but for the need for me to "go to my happy place" during or after the meal - lest I go postal on the server. Peggy's in Wrens, Miss Cheryl's in Stapleton, Midville Diner in Midville, Boll Weevil Cafe in Augusta...the list goes on and on.... 4. Ed Wood - Holy Crap! What is that on the plate? Is it a B-Horror Movie or is it dinner? An overall scary experience, either from a culinary perspective or just plain freaky people. Examples: Shoney's in Livonia, Hardee's in Livonia, Just about everywhere in Livonia, The Villa South Sandersville (again), Broad Street Bistro in Louisville...I could go on, but for the love of things Holy, I won't. 5. It Could Be Worse - of course, it could be better too! The food at such places probably won't make you physically ill, the service probably won't require that you post bond at the local jail...but it just wasn't that good either. Examples: Malley's in Augusta 6. A Relative Term - "Good" almost comes to mind, but only when you realize that you are in The South and good doesn't mean the same thing round these parts. Example: The Mexican Place in Wrens (always forget the name) 7. Hit and Miss - You can't get everything right. Either the food was great and the service was horrible or vice versa. Example: The diner outside of Hinesville, GA 8. Solid - Good food, good service, good people. Solid performance across the board. Examples: Russell's on US 21 outside of Beaufort, the diner at the corner of GA RTE 17 and US 301 9. We'll Be Back - something special. Something about this place makes us remember the experience (in a good way)...the personal touch....the phenomenal food....something is...inspired. Examples: Katherine's in Beaufort, Chuy's in Van Horn, TX, Watchmaker's in the Fitzpatrick Hotel in Washington, GA, Matsu Sige on Washington Rd in Augusta. 10. Elysian Fields - what we have been searching for all along. The benchmark with which all others are gauged. Examples: Bisbee Breakfast Club in (of all places) Bisbee, The Little Diner in Canutillo, TX.

The Poo Poo Platter

Hot Food By Calvin Augusta, Georgia I have never been so disappointed as I was today. For weeks, Diane and I had talked about eating at Hot Food By Calvin. The anticipation of the "Best Soul Food in Town" was great, the place came highly recommended by "Brother Al" - a part-time black minster from North Augusta who, from the looks of his girth, knows how to enjoy a good meal. Seeing the catering van from Calvin's racing all over town only strengthened the feeling that Calvin himself held the keys to our culinary salvation in the great restaurant wasteland. Today, Calvin taught us that there is no light at then end of the tunnel....no salvation...nothing to satisfy our quest for a meal that doesn't make you want to "return fire"...worship the goddess...Buick....Ralph...Call The Walrus...Yodel in the porcelain canyon....I think you get the point.... This place....This Wretched, Cursed Place....Damn you Augusta, for you truly are Culinary Hell! I ordered the Philly Cheese Beef Sandwich...$4.50 for shoe leather mushed with uncooked bell peppers...I almost broke my tooth trying to gnaw through what I can only guess must have been brisket at some point in history....ancient history... Something caught my eye....something small...moving, then stopping....I am not sure if the roach on the wall was signaling us to run...it just kind of stood there, wagging its little antennae at us for a few minutes...retreating back into the putrid grease that dripped down the counter.... Diane...she went the safe route.....ordered fried chicken...cole slaw side...fried green tomatoes...cornbread....uh huh... Glad to report that the chicken was actually pretty good. This was the one and only flash of hope in an otherwise horrific meal. Cole Slaw...straight from Sam's Club....The Cornbread....let me take a moment to speak to the cornbread.....I sampled the cornbread (trying to get the shoe leather taste out of my mouth)...this was a mistake. I chewed...and I chewed...and I tried to wash it down with some tea....and I chewed...this little chunk would not disintegrate....it was like I had a mouth full of corn flavored cement....this was the worst cornbread...and mind you, cornbread is tough to screw up....this was the worst cornbread I have ever contemplated. I personally did not know that you could make cornbread this bad...this is a new benchmark for what NOT to do.... It was at this point that Diane and I had our epiphany: With Augusta being the lowest plane of the culinary inferno, things are inverted here..."best" takes on new levels of bad here. There and then, we pledged that if folks claim, "Its the best in Augusta!", there is no way in hell we will even drive by it on the street. Then came the fried green tomatoes. Green....not really....more black on the outside...greenish on the inside...fried...oh yes, they were fried...the gallon of grease in each slice let us know that they were, indeed, fried... Dear God/Allah/Yahweh/Budda/Krishna/Your Higher Power Here...please don't make us ever repeat this...whatever we did...we won't do it again....we promise....